When it comes to football I obviously support Scotland and whoever is playing England. It's tradition, it's rivalry. Whenever we go out of a cup, do we support Morton? Nope, and I'm sure they don't support us. So why should we support England?
Thing is though, even when we qualify for a tournament (can you remember that far back), I'll still suport Wales and the tow Irelands if they make it. I support them in the qualifiers. So why don't I support England.
Could it maybe, just maybe, be something to do with their overwhelming arrogance? They think they have some god given right to win every tournament going. A poor performance, which has seen them score early and go all out defending, is apparently a fantastic one. They were poor against Switzerland until a man was sent off, but apparently this 3-0 result was to send shockwaves around Europe. What about Sweden beating Bulgaria 5-0? Even when they lost we were subjected to rants about how they'd beat France in the final, how brilliant they were and how Wayne Rooney was better than God. Last night Ashle Cole had apparently won the battle with Cristiano Ronaldo, despite the Manchester United youngster skinning him every time!
Every game is filled with English references and mentions of 1966, even when it's something as obscure as Russia v Greece. Every half time interval is filled with updates from the England camp, about how David Beckham broke a nail and one of his hairs fell out and is now a doubt for the next match. Why? I don't think any other country does that.
The other main reason that I cannot stand them comes after last night's brilliant victory by Portugal. Every time they lose, they either have to find a scapegoat or find some other excuse. France 1998 was Beckham, Holland and Belgium 2000 was Phil Neville, Japan 2002 was David Seaman. Last night, though, it was a massive conspiracy theory.
Apparently England had complained to UEFA about the penalty spot several times. Oh dear. Obviously Portugal had a portable penalty spot they brought up every time they were to take a kick. You both had the same penalty spot, live with it!
It was also the referee's fault they went out. He chalked off a goal which apparently should have stood. The fact John Terry was offside and had his arm around the keeper is beside the point. Interestingly, there wasn't outrage when Portugal weren't given a goal when the ball was over the line. The referee gave every decision in Portugal's favour. Nonsense.
The reaction of the pundits last night after the game was fantastic. Ian Wright was almost crying and peter Reid was demanding a replay. Top quality entertainment.
It's almost, almost, worth putting up with England winning the odd game, the pundits and the conspiracy theories, just so that when they do fail we can laugh even harder. They complain about the whinging of other nations, yet what do they do when they are beaten? Exactly the same.
The Portugal and France games have told me something. I'd rather see England lose that way than a 5-0 gubbing. I dunno why, but it's when they are beaten like that it suddenly feels great to be Scottish. At least we know we are rubbish, the English seem to think they should be winning everything, and blame everyone else.
Roll on Germany 2006 and another chance to have a laugh.