Do you remember the 2000/01 season? Despite it being our first in Scotland's top league for almost a decade, it's one most of us want to forget. With a leaky defence and an inability to score goals, Tom Hendrie did what he always did - signed some strikers. With Mark Yardley, Steven McGarry, Jens Paeslack, Tom Brown and Jose Quitongo having little or no success in front of goal, he plumped for Graham Fenton and Maikel Renfurm. Things didn't improve.
With this being before the days of the transfer window, a host of glamorous sounding names were suddenly being linked with Saints. West Ham's Paul Kitson nearly came on loan - then didn't. Then we were signing Nigerian star Daniel Amokachi. Or former Newcastle forward Temuri Ketsbaia. Then it was ex Celtic man Jorge Cadete. Fellow hairy forward Benito Carbone was another one. Next? Some Brazilian bloke called Bebeto.
Yes, that one. The one who performed the famous "rocking the baby" celebration after scoring for Brazil in the 1994 World Cup. The superstar was available after finishing a spell in Japan. Incredibly, Saints were willing to pay his wages. Bebeto was on his way - except he wasn't.
You see, the striker was 37. This was, apparently, something of a concern for Hendrie - so he asked Bebeto to come over and prove his fitness before he was offered a contract. That's right, St Mirren asked a man with over 70 caps for Brazil if he fancied a trial. Surprisingly, Bebeto was rather put out by this request and the deal was off.
Don't believe me? Check out this article from the BBC website. Hendrie's quotes make for fantastic reading: "The player is 37 and he was not prepared to come and allow us to assess his fitness and what condition he is in. The agent said that his reputation should be enough for us to sign him without seeing him and we simply couldn't get ourselves into that position. Bebeto is not playing at the moment after playing in Japan following his release from Vasco da Gama in Brazil.
"He is not signed to a club and it would have been easy to bring him in - it is not a publicity stunt. He was a fabulous player, but his main contribution to the Brazilian squad was in 1994 and there is a big difference from then to now. Our defender Tommy Turner is proof that some players can play in the first team at 37, but some players can't. You have got to ask if he is good as he once was.
"If he was, I would imagine that teams in Brazil would be falling over themselves to offer him a contract. Everybody is looking to push a striker on to us, but we are not prepared to take just anyone - we want the right one."
I'm guessing this is the first and only time Tommy Turner has been compared to Bebeto. You also wonder just how Hendrie could decide Chris Wreh and Renfurm were fit enough, but wasn't prepared to gamble on someone like Bebeto. Surely he wasn't any less fit than Yardley?
So, time was ticking on. The transfer deadline was at the end of March and it looked as if we wouldn't get anyone. Then news broke that we had failed in an attempt to sign another Brazilian. This time, a chap called Ronaldinho.
You may have heard of him. Scored a brilliant goal against England in the 2002 World Cup. Dazzled fans with his showboating while playing for Barcelona, before discovering chips and getting fat. Back then, he was just a buck toothed 21-year-old still playing for Gremio in Brazil. A deal to PSG had been set up but he wasn't due to move until the summer and both clubs seemed willing to let him go on loan.
An alert Saints fan in Brazil tipped Hendrie off and he was on the case. Hurdle after hurdle seemed to be overcome, everything was agreed and it looked as if the deal would happen. Then, for some reason, it fell apart. Why? Reports suggest a fake passport, while I've heard the Brazilian FA were late with the paperwork. What is clear is that it was some sort of red tape issue.
Hendrie again: "We spoke about Ronaldinho but there was a legal problem at the club he was at. Because of the problem, the Brazilian FA would not release the player's international clearance in time for us to register him ahead of the deadline. He has been playing with Gremio but he was willing to come and play for us before going on to PSG. Now we're obviously running out of time to get someone in."
However, Ronaldinho has a different take on things. When asked about the possible move during a Barcelona tour of Scotland in 2007, he said: "That was a long time ago, and before leaving Brazil I had a lot of offers from Europe before going to Paris. I can't remember where they were all from."
How dare you! Imagine not remembering getting an offer from St Mirren. Shame on you.
So, who did we get? Romario? Maradona? Er, Stephen McPhee on loan from Coventry. In fairness, he was quite handy - winning a young player of the month award - although he didn't score and we were relegated. The striker went on to play for Port Vale, Beira Mar, Hull and Blackpool before retiring through injury last year.
But that doesn't seem to be remembered. What is, is that we're the club that turned down Bebeto and we're the club that almost signed Ronaldinho.
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