Paisley Panda Documentary Tonight

Last updated : 28 May 2002 By Stuart Gillespie

Paisley Panda burst onto the scene around about 1996 and was crap. Someone phoned the club to inform them he was crap and when asked if he could do a better job, the guy on the phone said yeah. And he was right. The same man who made that phone call was the same man who entertained us all for the last time against Falkirk.

Some of the things the man has done have been superb. Before a game against Hamilton in 1998, he did a massive swan dive into a huge puddle. He's annoyed Morton fans on countless occasions with his antics, including pissing against the post right in front of them, and scrubbing his back with a toilet brush. Sadly I missed the game later in the same season, where he had a balsa wood pine tree air freshener for them. On police advice he didn't get his chance to entertain the Aberdeen fans with an inflatable sheep but here's a little known fact about that cup game. When Steven McGarry scored for Saints, I discovered PP was sitting a few rows down from me, minus suit, as he started waving his big board about. His mate started waving the inflatable sheep about. The police then came and confiscated the sheep off him! That's how little fun the police can take.

In the close season of 1999, Junior P was introduced to Love Street, being brought in and taken out of a sports bag. This was before Norrie McWhirter's testimonial, but before that had been the legends game. Paisley decided to get involved and made some crunching tackles, along with the Kilmarnock mascots. Throughout the season, Paisley Panda and Junior P delighted us with their antics, including walking around the pitch during the title winning game. Their fun continued in the SPL, with one time before a Sky game being one of the highlights of the season. As everyone probably knows, before a game on Sky there is a big SPL banner in the centre circle. Junior P hid under the banner, and Paisley pulled out a cardboard cut out. He then went to get a pump, put the cardboard cut out back in and started pumping away. After 10 seconds or so he brought Junior P back out, to a massive cheer. It was really class. Add to that the class spot the Arab sign when we played the Perth scum in a pre season friendly and the Ali G routine a few weeks ago against Partick Thistle then you have a brief, very brief, history of Scottish football's best mascot.

Both retired after the Falkirk game, and a replacement Panda will be brought in for the new season. Whether they will be as good I don't know, but they have a hard act to live up to. Remember folks; the last chance to see these two wonderful characters is on STV tonight, at 10.50pm. Don't miss it.