Clyde 2-0 Saints

Absolutely everything went wrong. My boys and I left home in good time. The roads were reasonably busy but clear of any jams. We were even in the car park a good twenty minutes before kick off but from then on the night was to be beset by some of the most glaring incompetence I have ever seen.

It started outside the ground. For some reason St.Mirren must have advised Clyde that no one was going to bother going to this match. All the fans were to be herded into the main stand at Broadwood. It must have been some officials’ perverse way of getting revenge on the disgruntled away support. I counted the turn styles that had been open. There were seven IN TOTAL. That’s SEVEN for almost 2,000 people to pass through, without any warnings of having to arrive early. Not only that. At the St.Mirren side of the main stand you had the bizarre spectacle of watching a police sergeant advising fans to use turnstile A for Adults, B for children and C for parent and child, only for some arsehole trussed up in a Clyde anorak and acting as a Steward to then tell queuing fans that turnstile C was actually supposed to be for Clyde fans.

As the clock ticked on and then passed the 7.30pm kick off time, and you looked up at the offices at Broadwood to see all the fat idiots gazing out of their windows to see ever growing queues of fans now stretching around the side of the stadium, you would have thought that kick off would have been delayed. Certainly the deafening silence from inside the ground suggested a delay but no, sadly, at Clyde, items like mobile telephones appear to be for phoning their mates to get them to look out of their windows, rather than to communicate with the referee inside the ground.

Still, never mind. I’m sure once inside the ground, those that didn’t get in till almost 20 minutes of the match had passed, were almost grateful for the incompetence of those outside the ground. The play was awful.

I’m reliably told that St.Mirren started the match playing the normal 4-4-2 formation with one of the strikers playing wide, however four minutes into the match, by the time I finally got in, St.Mirren were playing a 4-3-3 with Russell and McGinty seemingly playing wide, while Gillies played Centre Forward.

Now to be honest, this tactic seemed to be working. Clyde were getting through our back line with absolute ease, but then we were also creating openings if not opportunities. Not that it was anything to write about. Not that I was going to bother with a notepad and pen anyway, but the quality of football on offer was shocking. No one seemed able to put their foot on the ball, and passing for both sides was at a premium. I won’t mention crossing because looking at the way St.Mirren’s wide players play this isn’t a skill you associate with football anymore.

Apparently, before I got in, St.Mirren may have had a penalty claim. A John O’Neill shot was blocked by Alan Kernaghan and the players shouted. I can’t say anything about it though, as I would still have been stuck in that bloody queue.

I was there though in 10 minutes when Clyde stuck the ball in the back of the net. A ball in from the left was headed by Keogh and saved well at his post by Hinchcliffe, however he spilled the ball and Jack Ross reacted to slip the ball into the net. The referee adjudged that Ross had fouled the keeper.

St.Mirren’s best chance came late in the first half. Good work from Gillies in the centre saw him feed the ball to McGinty on the left side of the penalty box with time and space, however McGinty panicked and hit his shot straight at the Clyde keeper, and the ball rolled out for a corner kick. Unfortunately for St.Mirren this corner was to also lead to Clyde’s opener. The delivery of the corner was woeful and Clyde broke to the halfway line and their player had slipped the ball through to Keogh in the centre, before being hauled down. The referee blew for the free kick much to the annoyance of the Clyde players who felt advantage should have been played, for all the difference that would have made. Clyde took the free kick, which was basically a long deep ball that was headed down into the path of Keogh. He took his time, picked his spot, and he fired neatly home off the post.

The second half was more of the same. No cohesion at all from St.Mirren and still this bizarre idea of keeping Gillies as the Centre Forward and playing Russell wide on the right. Gillies did manage to crash a 30-yard drive off the Clyde crossbar but that was basically it from St.Mirren. From then on it was really Clyde v Hinchcliffe as the Saints keeper struggled to keep the score down, not that he was helping himself with some of the worst kicking I have seen from any goalkeeper.

One of the keepers kick outs was so bad it went straight to a Clyde striker who advanced unchecked at goal, only for Hinchcliffe to pull off a fantastic save to redeem himself.

As the minutes ticked by Coughlin got more and more desperate. The tactics were altered to 3-5-2 as he took off possibly Saints only creative midfielder, John O’Neill, and brought on Hugh Murray. The change also saw Broadfoot retreat to the defensive line, where he was ineffective and often out of position and Gillies had to come deeper, leaving two wide strikers to try and get into the game - perhaps someone should point out to the St.Mirren manager that the goal is in the centre of the pitch and not on the wing…Then again perhaps Coughlin has more than enough problems of his own without worrying about events on the pitch. An incident at the touchline - I suspect an item having been thrown from the crowd - caused Coughlin to approach the linesman who flagged and spoke to the ref. As he spoke with Coughlin the St.Mirren fans started to chant “Off, Off, Off” However the ref was not seeking to discipline him and instead spoke to a policeman who arranged for some stewards to stand facing the opposite way…or something!!!

Next Van Zanten went off and Alan Muir came on. He at least looked like he could deliver a cross ball, but sadly by the time he was doing that it was to aim for McGinty who was on the opposite wing. Now Coughlin appeared to revert to a 3-4-3 formation as he opted to change things around yet again.

It was all in vain though and it was only a matter of time before Clyde would catch Broadfoot out of position and struggling in the wake of Gilhaney as he raced onto a Harty through ball. Gilhaney gathered, unchallenged and fired home with ease from 15 yards by the helpless Hinchcliffe.

At full time St.Mirren fans vented their anger and disgust at John Coughlin. The boo’s and jeers echoed around the empty ground and Coughlin looked for every bit like a man who had run out of friends. He had tried a more positive line up after heavy criticism of his tactics at the Brechin match, but found that he was sadly lacking in personnel up front. You have to question the substitution of John O’Neill who was probably St.Mirren’s best player at that stage, rather than taking off the ineffectual Mark Crilly, and why the hell did he persist with McGinty who yet again looked completely out of his depth, right up till four minutes from time, when Coughlin finally ended his misery, letting Barry Lavety loose on Clyde.

Surely now time has run out for the St.Mirren manager!!!